farewell.

this post was worked on and in my drafts since may 12. the day tammy decided to move on from Mes Amis studios. There were many paragraphs above this that perhaps I will keep to myself so I will leave here as we just announced publicly that MES AMIS STUDIOS is no more. thanks for reading:

Today I officially announce that Mes Amis Studios is no more. Tammy has decided to pursue god and focus on what he can do for her through Meraki and Light. Something I am still trying to do is understand this. It's an unknown world for me, but one can not force anyone to put themselves in places they don't want to be. My heart is very hurt but know that people need to grow and with growth comes change. And that is a beautiful thing. It's taken me since May 10 to talk about this publicly and even now... I tear up writing this. So many amazing things happened within Mes Amis Studios. Not only did we meet amazing people, teach people our craft and let them in deep. This partnership taught me so so much about myself and through the process it created an amazing relationship with Tammy. like a best friend kind of relationship. It got to the point where we finished each others sentences.- a lot.

This summer has been super hard for me, for both of us I think. It's been tough to process as no one really understood Mes amis and so besides my husband I have been dealing with this alone. It sucks.

Now the harder part has been deciding whether to continue Mes Amis by myself, seek out another partner (I already x'ed this one, there's no "replacing" tammy. it's as simple as that) or fold it up all together and put it in the vault. So after a LONG summer of thinking I have decided to take baby steps. I will continue the snap happy classes and the Creative Hustle classes but in small doses and through deMo Photography instead of Mes Amis studios.One of the main reasons why Mes Amis worked so well was when we were together we got shit done.. and got it done fast. She did her part and I did mine and together it flowed. With having deMo as my full time gig and even there I should be hiring help I'm not sure I can take on the extra all by myself which is why I came to the conclusion of little bits. See what happens.

My other fear is:  will Mes Amis still be as great as it was with just one person? Did people book Snap, Inter and Hustles because it was the both of us? Will they still come if it's just me. Lacking that bright light of what Tammy brought? It makes me very hesitant to continue this with that in the back of my head. I want my students to leave with the same fullness as they would have with the two of us. So any feedback on this would be greatly appreciated.

I know most of you are unaware of what went into what we had. the level of thought, the late nights laying on the floor together dreaming up beautiful ideas and collaborations. the honing in on this dream and idea we had together. there was SO much behind the scenes. that's what I'm missing a lot of these days. Is the bouncing off of a like minded individual that understood me. I think she did anyways, maybe not fully but enough that made it work.

I look forward to future possibilites and relationships with our community of yxe and beyond. New bright lights sitting in my class chairs waiting to be chalked full of knowledge. I will share with you the best I know how to without tammy by my side.

it's going to be tough.